you are the most permanent thing in your life. always. that won’t change. ever. so put you first. prioritize you. choose you. you, you, you. your needs, your wants, your dreams, your feelings, your happiness, your peace. never sacrifice any of that, and do not spend your entire life treating people who might be temporary better than you treat yourself.
— alhwrites
especially if they act like a temporary person: bare minimum, low effort, confusing, unkind, shitty, toxic.
You can’t deserve a person’s love. You’ll drive yourself crazy thinking like that. They either love you, or they don’t. That doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough for them to love you, because love isn’t something you earn by being good enough. It isn’t something that can be quantified or doled out. Don’t blame yourself for not being loved how you need to, just teach yourself how to look for love where love lives.
This isn’t just about romantic love, or even skewed towards romantic love, although it does apply there too. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to accept is that my mother simply wasn’t someone who was capable of loving me, and there is no version of me that I could have ever been that would have earned that love. But with acceptance came healing. I was able to love myself more instead of resenting myself for not being more than any one person could be.
Are you listening? Even love for yourself isn’t earned. It is a kindness you give yourself.
It’s wonderful how, with no warning and without even trying, we will randomly stumble across new favorite songs, new favorite artists, new favorite books, new favorite movies, new favorite games, new favorite shows, new favorite snacks, new passions, new hobbies, new interests, new favorite blogs and new favorite people. So when things are terrible, hold onto the fact that someday, possibly when you least expect it, you’ll suddenly come across something wonderful!
u know what makes me cry….. that one van gogh quote about life changing for the better….. “many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. and it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘what do i care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ yes, evil often seems to surpass good. but then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. one morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. and so i must still have hope.” yeah….. Crying….
Becoming less reactive is a big part of growth & decreasing stress. Sometimes this type of avoidance can be looked at as lack of interest or uncaring, but it isn’t. If you let everything get you worked up, you’re damaging your mind, body & soul
